Don't become an addict

Some good reasons to never get addicted to drugs or alcolol:

You will become rude, unstable to walk on your own, whiney, needy, poorly groomed and generally scare people when begging to "bum a smoke". You will go against all common sense and try to escape if you are hospitalized with a very serious condition, risking your own life and the sanity of others around you. This includes pulling out a trach that allows you to breath, and a central catheter which goes through the jugular vein directly to the heart. Oh, and just to top it all off, you could become so desperate for a drink that you will drink some Alcohol hand sanitizer (make a mental note, on the bottle, it says to contact poison control if ingested).

Yes, these are all things that have happend to crazy patients at work while they were going into withdrawl from various substances which they abuse. And yes, this was all in the past few days I worked, is it a full moon right now or something?!?!

Making Friends at Work

I had an interesting conversation with a girl from work last night. We were talking about plants which led to myself wanting to get more plants to grow up on my patio, which led to her suggesting we should go together on one of our days off to pick up some plants just outside of the city.

She was kind of apprehensive about exchanging numbers, which I thought was strange. Did she think this was a date or something?! But she has a boyfriend and she knows I have one, so what was so awkward about this? I asked her, and she says that she feels strange about befriending people at work too early (she just started in a line at work a couple of months ago). Apparently she's had conversations with another coworker who feels the same way. They've been invited to go out with some of the other girls from work before and felt strange about accepting. Their response (that they didn't actually say out loud) was "what? I have my own friends". Which I thought very strange, because I'm always up for meeting new people and hanging out with new people.

Myself having moved to a new city a year ago, I was very thankful that there were some people at work who were inviting and suggested going out and doing things together on our days off. I've made a few friends at work. Ones that I might call up and suggest going to the beach or going out in the evening together, none of them deep meaningful friendships at this point but who knows one might develop.

How is it that some people are opposed to making friends at work? Are they really such horrible personalities that they can't mix their social lives and work lives?!

I'm always up for making new friends and meeting new people especially since moving out here and really knowing barely anyone. As awkward and terrifying it can be to go and meet new people, I think it broadens us and makes us more accepting of others. If I hadn't been willing to go out and socialize with new people I know that I would never be able to move to an entirely new city across the country.

I'm glad to have made work friends, and hope to make more of them. It makes work much more fun!

One year...

A year in to my nursing career. I can't believe how much has changed in the last year. One year ago I was doing my orientation buddy shifts with a nurse and running around like crazy dreading the day I worked on my own. I had no clue how nurses did multitasking and got the basic nursing duties done for their patients.

I have definitely gone far in one year. I've learned so much. Time management is way easier to do, shifts go much smoother, team work has improved and overall comfort in the workplace has greatly increased.

Don't get me wrong, I've still got plenty of days that are total chaos, patients coming and going, doctors, physios, charge nurses, dieticians, occupational therapists, families etc... hounding me when I'm already super busy. I'm just saying I don't fell like curling up in a ball in a corner anymore when those kind of days happen. A year ago I definitely felt that way.

I'd say that I've definitely improved on not bring my work home with me. I used to be at home worrying about my patients after I got home from work. Now I've learned to just accept that the next nurse is caring for the patient and I'm at home, not working, so I should relax! Is this me being a good nurse or a nurse that doesn't care? I wonder sometimes, but one thing I do know is it allows me to get a whole lot more sleep now!

Sometimes I'm worrying that I am slowly developing the hard edge of a nurse that has been working for a while. You all know what I'm talking about, the old crusty nurse that everyone hates. She's not approachable, rough with the patients and downright miserable to be around. Also the nurse that comes into the room does her duties and leaves without even making any sort of connection with the patient, no words spoken, no eye contact, not even a gesture of acknowledgement. I definitely don't spend as much time with my patients as I used to. But then again, it doesn't take me as long to complete different task, such as dressing changes, bathing, monitoring vital signs and giving medications. I think I'm still an approachable and friendly nurse. I've just got to make a conscious effort to make sure that I stay that way. I can definitely tell how some nurses get calloused after years of work and seem to not have the personal connection with their patients that I like to develop.

One year has definitely changed my nursing abilities and even way of thinking about nursing, I hope for the better. We'll have to wait and see what another year will do to my nursing practices.

What's the big deal?!

Damn soccer!!!
I don't plan my schedule around what shows are on TV. If I'm around when my shows are on, great, if not, oh well, or I'll just download them.
Soccer is not like that, it takes over peoples' minds and they totally plan their daily schedule and social lives around watching the game. I'm not talking about a couple of games, I'm talking about practically every single game for an entire month!
I didn't grow up in a sports watching family, so I guess I just don't understand and haven't experienced being around people who are soooo OBSESSED!!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for watching a game occasionally and getting together with people to "watch the game", but when it's a gorgeous sunny day out and it has to be spent indoors watching the game....argggg!!!!
Okay, so maybe there is some compromising sometimes...some days are spent outside and the occasional game might be missed..
Let's just say...I'll be glad when Sunday comes and this will be over for another 4 years. And four years from now I'm going on a long trip...for a month, any suggestions of where to go? and no, not where ever the World Cup is being held!!!

Why is life like that?

It seems like every time I post now (which is not very often at all) it's about work. And yet again, this one is about work. It definitely gets me thinking and stirs up all sorts of different emotions.

This morning I finished my regular work rotation getting off my night shift at 7am. This rotation wasn't like any other one though. I work on a orthopiedic Trauma unit. I see car accidents patients, gun shot and stab wounds, snowboarders ect. But occasionally I get a patient who is a bit of a different situation. This rotation I had two patients in with pathological fractures. This means that they're bones were weaken by (in this case) Cancer and just break under the person's weight or if they twist their body a little too far. I've had one pathological fracture patient before, but they were 70 years old and had lived a good life. One patient is 60, with metastisized Breast Ca. The other patient was different, the patients was just a year older than me, she is 24. She was just diagnosed in the fall, and already the Cancer has spread through her body and she is considered a palliative care patient. How is it that this can happen to someone so young?! I help her get up out of bed every time she needs to go to the bathroom because her legs are so swollen she can't lift them on her own.

Over the past four shifts I've gotten to know her a bit, she has a great outlook on life, but I can't help but feel like crying every time I go into her room, or every time a family member or friend comes out of her room and smiles at me. Why am I the one who is so upset about this, they all seem like they're doing really well with the situation, as terrible as it is. It's the family and friends visiting that affects me the most. She looks sick, so it's easy to look after sick people, it's what I do, I'm a nurse, but it's seeing her friends all the same age as her, and looking really healthy that reminds me that she was once healthy too. She had hopes and dreams for her future. Now her future (most like only a few months) includes sleeping 75% of the day, always feeling nauseated, barely having he energy to make converstation with loved ones and worst of all, constantly having new nurses, doctors and other health care workers popping in to see how she's doing. Okay, she definately has a better outlook on life than I do, she seems to make the most of it and she tells me that she prays a whole lot. I wish I could be as strong a person as her.


The other day, I was in the room when one of the doctor's was talking to her. I wanted to scream at him, he was talking down to her, like she was a little kid! Just because she's sick and needs help doing regular activities does not mean that she is dumb, or infantile. I'm sure he didn't even realize that he was doing it, but still, if it were me he were talking to like that I would have been really upset and hurt. Sheesh, she's older than me and he was talking to her in the kind of voice you'd use with a 10 year old.

I think that this hits me even more because my boyfriend's friend just passed away from cancer in the summer, and she was the same age. I never met this friend, or haven't even heard that much about her illness. I just know that it was the same sort of situation, amazing person, great outlook on life and tons of friends and family supporting her.

Just the idea that it really does happen to REAL people scares the #%@* out of me!

The Cycle of Life

My patient passed away last night and this is the first of my nursing career. I've looked after patients who are palliative but never been working when they've passed on and been around twice when a patient has passed away but not one of my patients.

It's a totally different situation when it's your own patient. It definately made me feel like...hey, I'm actually the nurse for this patient and it's my responsibilty to talk to the family.

I was VERY nervous to talk to the family, but soon realized that the biggest thing they needed was just someone to listen. They told us in Nursing School that listening is a huge part of nursing and it makes all the difference in the world for the patient and family. I have noticed that my listening skills have come into play when dealing with patients on an every day basis, but I now realized it even more so after helping a grieving family through a very difficult time.

I spoke one on on with two of the family members at different times. I was worried about what sort of questions they'd ask...would I know the answers? Would I say the right thing? I quickly realized that all they wanted was someone to listen. I was told all about the patient's health problems in the last year, then the conversation progressed to what he was like as a father, his career and hobbies and also what he did as a young man. I felt like the whole time I was just nodding and saying mmhmmm, but I must have done something right because the next family member came out to talk to me after a while. He said that his wife had said I had been good to talk to and had some nice things to say about his father and that he should come out to talk with me. I guess I did some good without really realizing it. I

As unpleasant it is to deal with a death, I'm very glad to have been there for the family when they needed me the most. It is a privilege to be able to be there for the family in such a difficult, emotional and vulnerable time.

Maybe I will make an Okay nurse after all...

Taking work to Heart

Do I take my work too much to heart? I woke up this morning worrying about my patients that I had a work yesterday. I know that their care has been passed on to very competent nurses so why am I so worried? Who knows?! I guess it's in my blood to care and worry about others.

I consider myself a caring person, one of the reasons why I decided to become a nurse. Now that I'm in the nursing career I wonder whether it's helping of hindering my care for the patient. Well actually I don't think that it hinders the care of the patient in any way, no patient would ever complain about a nurse who cares. It does however hinder my health.

A caring nurse definitely experiences a much higher stress level than an uncaring nurse. Then again an uncaring nurse would make a bad nurse. It is the caring side of the nurse that makes them a good advocate for the patient. An important part of nursing is advocating for the patient, being sure that their needs and wishes are met.

My caring for my patients definitely does have a huge effect on my stress level, sleep and I'm sure that it affects my general health. How am I going to be able to separate the work stress so that it does not cross over to my daily stress? I know that every job has it's stress level, and every employee goes home with that stress at home too, it's not just nurses. It is however important that every worker learns how to deal with their stress and to learn to leave it at the work place.

What is the best solution? I have no clue. I can only think of one, just take a early retirement and move to Hawaii. Is retiring after one year in the work force too early?